Angela Nicoara talks about falling for someone from another country. Vive la différence!
Twenty years ago, I fell in love with an alien who landed on my planet without warning. Our life together hasn’t always been easy, but I’m glad we met.
My new book, Loving an Alien, is a collection of intimate interviews with brave women who, like me, crossed the cultural divide and loved to tell the tale.
We discuss passionate affairs that transcend petty boundaries of country and nationality. Some tales might make you laugh, some might break your heart, and some might make you wonder: how could she?
Whatever your marital status, if you dip into Loving an Alien, I believe it will surprise you, along the way. You’ll learn about women from all over the world who dared to be different and follow their heart despite the odds. That’s what my book is about, and here’s how I got the idea.
One winter’s night, by our log fire in the mountains of Transylvania, I started thinking about my girlfriends around the globe, many of whom married a foreigner. Their lives were so similar but so different to mine. Hmm, why not share experiences? What if I go back to how it all started for me, put on my journalist hat, and ask them about life on Planet Love – what might they say?
The result is Loving an Alien. If you’re into global travel, romance, life lessons, the do’s and don’ts of an intimate relationship, how to manage your in-laws, finesse your outlaws, and raise rootless, bi-lingual, ‘third culture’ kids, I hope you’ll snuggle up with my book.
In a candid series of Q&As with twenty-seven women of different nationalities, I reveal what makes a mixed marriage tick and how to keep the love clock running. Our world awaits you, thanks to some old friends, and some friendly strangers who opened their hearts. For example…
“My college friends thought I was stupid, crazy, and throwing away a bright future.” – Jennifer
“Some girls think marrying an expat is the road to riches, but that’s not true.” – Sumi
“I never thought I’d be with an African, someone so different, from this tiny village.” – Sophie
“It wasn’t like I came to Sri Lanka to marry a Sri Lankan. It just happened.” – Jessica
“Marrying into a different culture means you are not trapped by your own, which is how I felt.” – Wang
Now I’d like to share a few things I learned from researching and writing Loving an Alien. A recurring theme is the importance of spending time with your partner in his own country and in yours, before you take the big step. Another theme is religion: the differences can make or break your family, even your heart. Also, prepare for culture shock, often at a profound level, and be ready to adapt, accept, and tolerate it. On the other hand, if you’re hoping your partner will change into the person you really wanted, think again. Geographical distance, too, can prove a challenge and be difficult to accommodate and negotiate later, especially if you’re planning kids. Same for language – love is a universal one, but you’ll need far more to overcome some misunderstandings. So listen up, slow down, and be patient!
The good news is, that despite our differences, love conquers all. Oh, and we offer twenty-seven yummy dishes from around the world, for you to try. Because I don’t just spill the beans, I get the recipe!
Loving an Alien is not memoir. It’s not fiction. It’s love, visas and all. Long-distance. Long term. I hope you’ll join me, on my journey to the heart of it!
Loving an Alien is a riveting collection of intimate interviews with brave women who crossed the cultural divide and loved to tell the tale. Vive la différence! Here’s how it all started…
In 1995, when young Romanian journalist Angela Nicoara applied to the BBC School in Bucharest, it changed her life in ways she could never have imagined. Raised in the closed society of communist Romania and stung by a recent divorce, she doubted her chances for a better future. But then she met some British guy, in a gloomy corridor, and everything changed.
“There was a power cut at BBC School. It was so dark I could hardly see him. We chatted for a few minutes, sharing a joke about the excellent conditions, and I had a feeling I’d never experienced before, as if I’d known him all my life. Why?”
Turns out, Cupid had just fired a couple of arrows that landed bang on target. Angela and her Brit spent the next twenty years traveling and working around the world – with a brief stop in Las Vegas to get married – and are now settled in a tiny village in the mountains of Transylvania, with bears for neighbours.
Angela Nicoara grew up in communist Romania, and has lived and worked in twenty countries around the world. She is a former broadcast journalist and media manager and she is based in the mountains of Transylvania with her favorite alien, five cats, two dogs, and the occasional bear.