Has virtual dating made us less or more connected to each other, asks Joy Lin?

The latest app to test this theory is Tinder.  I sit here and I gently flick through the men with a slight touch of my finger and I rate them every so carefully.  “This one is cute.  Oh Look!  We have a friend in common!  Oh wait, why is he posing with this girl?  Is that his kid?”  Those are the quick lines of thought that go through my mind as I flick through each profile hoping to get a “match”.  A “match”.  How ironic. Has Tinder boiled it down to what most of the online dating sites really try to avoid with the pages of questionnaires?  “Do I find this person attractive”?  Or in a more direct statement, “Would I sleep with this person”?

Joy Lin

What virtual applications fail to realize is that the human connection requires more than just looks and curiosity in a fleeting moment.  Human connection requires just that, humans.  How many of you have actually contacted the other person that you are “matched” with?  Did you take the risk?  Did you say hi?  And out of those whom reach out, what percentage of you actually went on a date?

The Tinder stats are impressive.  There are 200 million profile swipes per day of interest.  Leading to over 300 million new matches per day.  But what did you do with these matches? Did you meet up? Did you hide behind the mask of technology?  Did you pretend that your self-esteem was as confident as that selfie you took?  Life is all about risk, and being vulnerable in love is a risk very few are willing to take.  So whether it is Tinder or another online dating profile you fill out, the connection can only happen if you allow your self to be connected at a deeper level than your profile picture.

Virtual dating is just a means to an end.  If you give love a means by which it can reach you … It will.  But you have to allow the openings to arise.  Connections can happen at any moment, however long or short, real or virtual.  But no connection can be made if you are already closed off to begin with.  Be open to love.  Your vulnerability opens others whether in the online dating world too.

Thanks so much for reading, please take a look at http://www.simpleloveadvice.com and feel free to let me know what you think.

Screen Shot 2014-02-11 at 12.42.20 PMSimple Love Advice is a deck of 43 guidance cards that will help you to answer questions about relationships. These cards are a tool developed to help you to connect to your inner wisdom. We have all the answers within us, but sometimes when life throws you off center, we all need a little guidance to remind ourselves of our truth, that little voice that tells us we know what to do. The Simple Love Advice cards help you to find that voice in those times of uncertainty.


Joy Lin has been involved in life coaching and holistic healing practices for several years now since moving to Australia from San Francisco, California. She is a member of the Australian Energetic Healing Association and has received a Certificate of Energetic Healing from International College of Healing and Metaphysics in Sydney, Australia. She is also a Reiki Master from Nature Care College in Sydney. Although her background is in the sciences, she spends her time balancing both the corporate world as well as the creative world in acting and writing. 

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